A Minecraft Movie Review

May 23, 2025 at 4:47am
By Jason Stettner

Minecraft has been a delightful game over many years of my life and with the advent of what was A Minecraft Movie I was certainly going to have to experience it. This is a live action take where a group of people get sucked into the world of Minecraft. The results are a mix of nightmare fuel and just a generally horrendous waste of time. It’s a special kind of garbage.

It’s just a never ending cringe fest. That aside, it’s something that probably hits well with the younger ones as they won’t care and will just consume it. So fine for the younger audience, anyone with a minor level of critical thinking will find this to be a mess. The plot is light, the character development is poor and the overall situation is just kind of dumb. It’s one of those movies that I hope I won’t have the displeasure of ever having to view again in my lifetime.

I’m sure we’ll be stuck with a handful of sequels that follow this and it will be my continued nightmare to continue to cover them. The story follows Steve (Jack Black) who yearns for the mines and creativity or something. It doesn’t really matter at the end regardless, there’s no real lessons or narrative here. Jack Black in another gaming role, hurray. Garrett (Jason Momoa) is basically a loser that can’t get past the old age of gaming.

Henry (Sebastian Hansen) is super creative and looked after by his sister Natalie (Emma Myers) for some reason. Her role is just to be cut to occasionally where she gasps. Then Dawn (Danielle Brooks) is into animals, but that never gets dove into. The most cohesive plot is the bizarre insanity of Marlene (Jennifer Coolidge) dating a villager. Anyways, together aside from the last on the list go into the world of Minecraft and need to escape.

The aesthetics of A Minecraft Movie were sort of terrifying. It captures Minecraft to a degree I guess, but at the same time it was whatever length this insanely long feeling movie was of people obviously in front of green screens.

There was no depth, no impact and just people walking in front of a green screen. The same amount of care went into the motivations of the villain Piglin army. I’d comment on the acting but it was mostly just people standing still or yelling and randomly saying things. Throw in a few cringe meme lines and that was the film.

The Conclusion

A Minecraft Movie makes me feel like the theatrical experience is dying and the only way to bring people in are cringe inducing meme lines. It’s the straight up death of regular cinema and Minecraft is the harbinger. Seriously, this is one of the worst movies I’ve ever watched.

The plot is paper thin, the character development is perplexing and this is designed just to produce memes. There’s no soul, no care and just random moments that happen upon the screen. I was immediately terrified by what I had done about five to ten minutes in after purchasing a ticket. This was a nightmare for me, and it felt as though it would never end.

I tried to go in with middling expectations and those were shattered. It’s a Cats level event. I wish even the smallest bit of care had been placed upon this movie. Minecraft is literally about unlimited creativity so there were no limitations for what they could have done. Yet, this is what we ended up with. A soulless waste of time.

A Minecraft Movie Review at Theater with Standard Viewing

Rating Overall: 2.0