Clownado Review

August 31, 2019 at 2:22am
By Jason Stettner

Clownado is quite truly awful, and that’s painfully apparent right from the start. It’s a puzzling launch point that makes me question the era, and my decisions in life. It’s a very poorly acted segment, and that train of what’s essentially drivel continues throughout the film. That starting spot though, truly awful and just bad, so bad.

There’s some apparently random and shocking event, that triggers an apparently mystical lady to help out this woman in trouble. It then becomes a situation where clowns appear after a tornado? I have to mention that as a question, as I wonder how to comprehend what they were going for. It wasn’t even a tornado that shot out clowns, the tornado appeared to be a travel mechanic more or less.

Continuing with that question, my best description of how I feel is the shrugging emoticon, so picture that in your head while reading this. It’s weird, the narrative is all over the place and features straight up strange, yet stupid characters that don’t matter. There was even an Elvis type person, that didn’t serve much of a point aside from mumbling throughout.

Aside from the poor acting, the clowns just generally come across ridiculous and I’m not sure what they were going for here. It’s not scary at all, it’s also not really a comedy. It sinks into some weird disjointed middle ground, hilarious in that it isn’t funny.

A lot of it was rather cringe inducing with bizarre close ups and piles of really poorly delivered lines. This movie might have had the most worst delivered lines I’ve come across in a movie I’ve reviewed. There was no emotion, no desire and it was just sad to see quite honestly.

There’s some novelty to the idea of the name they presented here, but don’t use it aside from a quick wrap-up that was painful to take in. The characters are weak, come and go with it not mattering. This was just truly a painful experience to take in, I wouldn’t even use it as background noise quite honestly. I will also mention that this film did feature some nudity, and it wasn’t done well.

The Conclusion

Clownado is a dreadful, poorly acted film that really was just a true waste of time. They could have at least had the tornado be more tied to the clowns. Instead, it was weird clowns going around awkwardly stabbing and attacking characters that delivered their lines without even the slightest bit of soul.

There was some straight up bland line delivery in this, it seemed like none of the extras that were present even cared the slightest about what was going on here. The inclusion of Elvis was weird, didn’t add anything. The main characters are odd, with strange motivations and just weak development. It was mostly a movie of cringe and one that I’ll be glad to forget.

Clownado Review at Home with Streamed Viewing
Screening Provided by October Coast Publicity

Rating Overall: 0