The Snowman Review

The Snowman is simply the worst film I've ever screened and possibly the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater. It's an incoherent mess of random scrambled ideas that come together in a way that makes little to no sense. I've sat here even after thinking about some sort of symbolism or purpose for some aspects of the movie and there are none. I found the display to be rather insulting as it acted like the audience was stupid by constantly force repeating aspects that everyone should cleary already get.

This was the simplest guess for who the murderer was ever and it kept acting like each discovery (there were multiple wow moments from the lead) was crazy. Nothing here made sense, it was slow and most of all entirely boring. I was amazed at how random some of the scenes were and the point of anything it presented. There's no suspense, no thrill and certainly no mystery.

The concept of the snowmen were pointless as well since they're rarely used and don't seem to have a point aside from the first showing at a murder scene. What could have been a playful taunting method turned into just something extra at a couple of murders. I couldn't even understand the mystery muderer's motivation or reasoning, some context of it was there though truly muddled.

The acting here was horrible, I was going to forgive the horrible starting sequence but it continued to be awful throughout. Even Michael Fassbender as the lead came across as more confused as to what he was acting in each scene and just completely out of it. Rebecca Ferguson played another core part of the narrative, but didn't really have any sense of direction and was pointless.

There was what I believe was poor dubbing present a couple times with some characters or the audio track was just off completely. It was all just a mess, there were points that were beyond stupid and the ending was one of the worst things I've ever seen. I'm not even going to start on the random love scene that really wasn't much of a love scene which randomly popped up. This sentence might not make sense, but if you see it you too would be questioning the scene's point and get what I described. The small bit of CGi was dreadful, there were bad cuts and the editing was poor.

The Conclusion

Stay far, far away from The Snowman. I'm not even sure I've covered all of this mess in what was just a rough viewing experience. I enjoy movies, I'm fairly easy going too but this mess was something I found to just be purely insulting to anyone that watches it. The concept of the film is interesting, the murderer could have been really intriguing too though someone here had no idea what they were doing when they put this together.

It's bad all the way through, but I will say some of the wide scenic shots were nice though didn't add any quality to what was happening. It's just a mess, a complete waste of time and I couldn't believe I sat through it all. If you think its bad even a quarter in, that ending will certainly take things to the next level.

The Snowman Review at Theater with Standard Viewing
Screening Provided by NBC Universal

Rating Overall: 2.0